The Backstory

So as to better understand where I'm coming from as far as this 40 day mission, you should read this post from my personal blog re: a conversation I had about religion, philosophy, morality, and what have become my current beliefs:

Epiphanies (from 12/9/05)

This is a very exciting time for me - not nearly as hopeless and depressing as I thought these feelings would be. As I mentioned previously, the other night, Adam, Liz#2 and I had a wonderful, thought-provoking conversation about religion and philosophy, morality and spirituality...stayed up until about 4AM. Much was said, and I learned much about each of them. That Adam is spiritual in a very interesting way, though I might not agree with several of the points he made. That Liz#2, too, is a very spiritual person, and is very happy to follow her own code - though she has expressed interest in exploring Judaism more thoroughly, as it's part of her history...

As for me...I don't know. I've been thinking about all of this a lot in the past year, but this particular conversation has forced me to put certain things into words that I never have before. I'm starting to become more and more comfortable admitting that perhaps I'm not totally Catholic anymore. It's sad to admit, and at the same time...freeing. What hasn't changed is my belief in God (whatever form God takes), and my desire to get closer to God. To life a life of gratitude and of knowing that neither I, nor human beings, are the be-all and end-all.

However, I (unlike Adam) don't see structure and dogma as detrimental or contrary to spirituality. I think it can help people express it. I also don't think that the function of organized religion is to "have all the answers." I think it attempts to give its followers tools with which they can express their appreciation for the mysteries. The so-called "answers" are only a framework through which we can appreciate what we don't know. By acknowledging a God, we are also acknowledging that there is much to which we don't have the answer - we are acknowledging our own powerlessness. The very act of believing in God is essentially saying "I don't have all the answers. But somehow, somewhere, someone or some force out there does. And maybe the answer is "chaos." Maybe the answer is that there is no answer. But I acknowledge that. And that's enough." It's funny that agnostics generally get credited with thinking along those lines, when I think that believers in a God are doing the same thing. They're just giving the unknown a name.

I had an interesting thought last night. Not a new thought in the grand scheme of things, but it was new to me (especially in terms of Christianity), and I was quite proud of it. Adam, indeed most people, see the "purpose" of organized religion as answering the questions. That the rules and dogma are an end unto themeselves. But what if the purpose of organization was to be able to discern the holes? What if we were to build this structure so that we can more easily see what's missing? (I feel like I'm treading on Buddhist ground right now....or Taoism....the questions are more important than the answers....)

I don't know if this will make any sense, but bear with me....I was thinking of the Bible as an example of this. People bring up/complain about its contradictions all the time and either a) dismiss them (what contradictions?), b) rationalize them (well, it's not really a contradiction...you see, when you look at it in relation to...), or c) point them out as a flaw (see? this makes no sense! Therefore, the whole book is wrong!) What if it's d) none of the above? What if the contradictions are the point? What if the whole reason why God inspired the Bible was to put those contradictions in so that we could use them as a tool to think, and wonder, and grow in our faith? Instead of trying to rationalize the contradictions, or seeing them as rubbish, what if we're supposed to see them for the contradictions they are and work through them? What if everyone's been missing the point this whole time? What if God gives human beings more credit than we give ourselves?

OK, now here's a list. It is subject to change, of course, but it's where I stand right now:

I BELIEVE:

- that there is a higher power that I will continue, for now, to call God - mostly because God is one, easy syllable. (kidding!)
- that organized religion can be very helpful in expressing one's spirituality, but...
- ...no one organized religion is completely right
- more and more in a human religion that is found where all the world religions intersect
- the differences are important insofar as they are reflections of culture, region, and time period, but not as a determining factor in any person's worth, or morality
- moral codes are determined both by the selfish human need to survive and the capacity that people have to care about others...which is really a reflection of how they care about themselves...which is not derrogatory or negative. It just is.
- it's understandable that, while human beings are a part of a greater universe and are not the be-all and end-all, it is not our job to try and rectify that. All we have with which to work is our piddly humanity. All we can do is see everything through a human lens. Whenever we "sympathize" with animals (or even plants), we are merely putting a human face on something that isn't. We don't really care about the thing, we care about how the thing makes us feel about ourselves. Again, not wrong. Just is. And is extremely understandable. So, while it might be wise to acknowledge the fact that we are no higher or lower than any other living species on this planet (or in this universe), "fixing" it isn't really necessary, nor should it be expected except over the course of our long-term evolution. It's just the way we are.

That's all for right now. But now, I have a mission. I want to find the places where the world religions intersect and figure out this one human religion. I feel like this would be the best way to express my gratitude and spirituality at the moment....but it also requires a lot of learning and research on my part. And I would like to enlist your help....I already know Jews, Catholics, a Pentacostal, and a Pagan. If anyone reading this knows a practicing Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist, or anyone of any other religion who wouldn't mind sitting down and talking with me over coffee (my treat!) or over e-mail about their religion and why they practice it, let me know. I'll probably be reading books about them too, but nothing beats talking to someone about what their spirituality means to them.

I feel very good about this. :)